We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Randomize
