Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Randomize
