I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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