If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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