So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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