dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
Randomize
