Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Randomize
