I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
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