Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
