She said her name was "party"
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize
