sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
