where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
and you said cock pushups were impossible
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
