I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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