i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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