bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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