yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Randomize
