never play flip cup with pint glasses
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Randomize
