You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
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