You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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