oh god the rape fog is back!
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
