so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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