I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
Randomize
