just come out here and I will go home with you...
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Randomize
