There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
