god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
cat food counts as protein by the way
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Randomize
