So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Randomize
