Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
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