I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
My boob is missing a layer of skin
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
