Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize