I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
