I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
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