We got so high we made milksteak
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
Randomize
