where am i from again
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
