if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
Can you bring me the toilet please
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
Randomize
