I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
Liz is crying about burritos again.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
