respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
