"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
