I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
Randomize
