i don't want you to think of me as your TA
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
