ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
someone owes me an orgasm
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Randomize
