oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
