She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
