how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
Randomize
