We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
ttyl tear gas
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Randomize
