So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
no you cant smoke seaweed
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
