About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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