did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
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