Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
