Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
