the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
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