At least make sure they are 18
Why
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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