the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
