I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
i love accidental penises.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
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