did you get engaged???
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
